"Distance is not for the fearful, it's for the bold. For those willing to spend a lot of time alone, in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those who know a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough."
I've been thinking about about the idea of missing someone lately. I don't think I ever understood what it meant to miss someone until recently.
To be physically separated from the one you love for 730 days sucks. Being 219 days in, I have gotten used to the fact that when I am having a hard day, he can't hold me. And when I am stressed, he can't calm me down. And when I have something exciting to say, I can't call him. But getting used to something doesn't make you forget how it used to be. And that's when the "missing" comes in.
I miss everything about Joey. And I mean everything. But I am glad I miss him. Without the missing, I wouldn't be able to do the waiting or check the mailbox everyday even though I know there is nothing there.
The missing keeps him alive. It is the reassurance that I didn't dream up this guy. He is real. And he will come home.
A lot of people don't make it through the mission. I have heard the success rate is something like 3%. And I understand why. This whole thing is hard. No, better word, it sucks.
But it's worth it.
I might understand missing someone way better than I wish I did, but because of that, I also understand loving someone way more than I ever thought I could. The way we are still connected and growing stronger amazes me. And how from 4,852 miles away, he still makes me feel loved. And sometimes, I will be going through something and he has no idea, but I will get a letter saying exactly what I need to hear.
Nothing good in life ever comes easy. I'm glad Joey had the faith and courage to go on a mission. I am glad I have this time to become exactly what I need to be. I am glad for these 4,852 miles and 730 days. They are just numbers. And they don't matter.
Distance means so little when someone means so much. I am glad I have someone worth missing.
2 comments:
Kaylee, this is so sweet! And sad. But mostly sweet. I'm really happy that you have found your person. I remember sitting beside each other in band and talking about your dates with Joey before you were even a couple. Seems like so long ago...
On a different note, I love the new blog design!
aw thanks so much Autumn! ya i remember those days too, that was sooooo long ago! awwww memories :) i feel so lucky that i found my guy when i was 14! :)
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